Fruity, corny candy Christianity

The old Ugly Church Stuff file is chock full of goodies! This time, it’s the sweet kind.

Just when you thought faith in the West couldn’t get any sweeter, along comes the fruity kind of Christianity that can only be found in pun-covered, colorful, individual-serving-sized plastic bags. This sort of thing has been around for a long time (Testamints anyone?), but the Scripture Candy company has taken things to new heights with its “Fruit of the Spirit” in an 8.5-ounce bag! With only 8 grams of sugar per serving, you can improve your spiritual life without putting on the pounds by enjoying these fruit-flavored snacks.

If you’re more corny than fruity, try the Christmas candy corn–otherwise known as “Jesus Promise Seeds“. (Lord help us all!) I have no clue what sort of crop these seeds produce, but if they’re like the other candy I eat, they will certainly help me grow. If you’re tired of the same old orange and yellow candy corn that comes around at Halloween, this green and red variety is just the sort of thoughtful gift you should give the supermarket cashier when bidding her a “Merry Christmas” with a snarl after she wishes you “Happy holidays” this December. Stock up now to avoid the pre-Advent shopping season rush.

How goofy can we get?

This article is part 14 of 14 in the series Ugly Church Stuff.